rest in peace, grampa holmes and stockton

jasper,
we just spent the last week helping aunt "titi" doris take care of my great-grandfather, so your great-great grandfather, ed holmes. you had so much fun hanging around out there. we set your portable crib up in the huge master bathroom, and i stayed next door in the master bedroom. we missed daddy a lot, he had to stay home so he could take care of the kitties and go to work. grampa and titi greatly enjoyed your company, and you enjoyed theirs. grampa was in a lot of pain, but that's over now. he passed away at four in the morning on wednesday, may 27th, 2009. we are happy he isn't in pain anymore. may he rest pain free and in peace.
nana came down today, because she is the one who was put in charge of his will and meeting all of his last wishes. we picked her up from the airport at 11 this morning and brought her out to gilbert to be with titi, so we could go home. titi didn't want to be alone, though she has too much pride to admit it. you can just tell though. after we picked up nana, you tried to climb up a kitchen chair and busted your top gum open. you thought it was pretty awful and you bled all over your cute khaki overalls. dammit. i was scared that your new teeth went through your lip, but they didn't. you have a little scab on your gums, but i think you'll survive.
grampa didn't have a lot and died with a small piece of property, two trailers (mobile homes) some furniture (nothing spectacular) and $400 to his name. yet, as usually comes with someone dying, there is a little bit of drama going on. his girlfriend of 6 years wants his ashes, and the family thinks he should be buried with his dead wife, great-gramma holmes. she is buried in lincoln, new hampshire, which is where nana, titi and gram's four other children were born. bob, who is one of nana and titi's brothers thinks he owns one of grampa's trailers, but he doesn't. so we're expecting him to challenge the will. all of this reminds daddy and i that we need to write our wills, just in case anything happens to us. *sigh*
stockton, who quickly became your kitty after you were born, also died this week. he ran off on saturday night and hasn't come home at all. he's not the most intelligent kitty and i don't think he could survive for too long on his own out there, so daddy and i think he died. it's a shitty week, i really want it to be over. i'm really tired from giving grampa meds late at night, and not sleeping in my own bed. i'm also pretty sad right now. and i feel lonely. daddy is working and i'm home alone. you are crawling around on the floor. i just gave you fish and rice for dinner.
i hope it rains soon. it's really humid and like 90-something degrees outside. while i was editing this post, you decided that you were tired and i put you to bed, in your bed. maybe i'll go sit outside with arthur cat and make him make me feel better. he's good at that.
i love you.
momma

teething and rechid diaper rash.

oh little dude, i feel so bad for you.
you've got some horrible diaper rash. i mean awful. i can google "bad diaper rash" and see images that are on par with what you've got. you need to go to the doctor, and will very, very soon. you got an oatmeal bath and got to run around diaper-free for a while tonight, though.
you've also got four teeth now. you think it's pretty amazing to grind them together. and i mean all the fucking time. you sneak up behind me and start breathing all heavy and grinding your teeth. it wicked creeps me out. i think that's pretty obnoxious, but what do you care? you haven't bitten me with your new top chomper yet. i'm glad we're one more step into teething. just sprout all those goddamn teeth already!!
you took your first steps yesterday. big stuff, little dude. i can see in your eyes and the way that you stand there that you'll be walking in no time. it terrifies me. sometimes i wonder if i should tie your legs together, but of course i won't.
you will be 10 months old so soon. i feel like i've already lost my baby. i snuggle with you all the time and tell you that i'm going to miss having you as my baby. i'll definitely miss our snuggle time. :-(
i have a late blog to post and some wonderful pictures of your first beltane! we went strawberry picking and you had such a blast. but, more about that later.
we have a potential transfer from dad's work to move back to massachusetts, something i want to do very badly. it's something we all want to do. unfortunately, we thought that moving to south carolina would make our lives easier, and it hasn't. so, we have the {potential} option to move back home, and getting some help from family, because taking care of you is a very time consuming process and i really need a hand so i can work or go to school. you can't be left alone, and that makes doing anything rather difficult. *sigh* i hope the whole moving home thing works out, it's somewhere i really want to be. i think it would be better for all of us. it is now the 19th of may, and if this worked out, we'd be moving in the beginning of july. so, that makes me nervous as it's obviously not a lot of time. particularly when i'm trying to hang on to your infancy.
we went to the food pantry today, because we're broke people and we needed some food. we spend almost two hours there. you had a blast, talking to people and trying to go home with them, you little flirt. you have such a nice time whenever we go out together. you think other people are so fun.
we've been visiting aunt doris and grampa holmes on sundays, while dad is working. you love them. grampa is dying right now, and we all wish him a quick process that's as pain-free as is possible. you like to sit in grampa's bed with him and give him kisses, it's really sweet. the day after tomorrow, we have to bring grampa's brother bruce to the airport so he can go back to canada. we'll go and have lunch with aunty and grampa before we go.
i think that's all for now, my little lovie. you are sleeping soundly and i am baking a white asparagus quiche with some of my food pantry bounties.
love you sooooo much,
momma.